We know. We’ve been really bad the past few months. Things have gotten completely out of hand work-wise and on Coco’s end there has not been nearly enough time to focus on all the cray. Now that it’s almost Christmas, here’s a fun little ditty to get you through to New Years.

Coco recently downloaded Tinder again [insert SUPERZOOM on Tinder app, but not really because you can’t embed Insta stories yet]. She met a Swiss banker (score). That was tall and blonde (double score). Who lived on his own in Zone 1 (are you kidding me?).

Unfortunately (and unsurprisingly) he only seemed interested in treating her like an unpaid hooker. Here’s how she let him off easy. An excellent Whatsapp exchange if we do say so ourselves. Although it goes without saying, Coco is in green:

Now it’s time for a rant. From a male perspective it looks like Coco is antagonizing Daniel. Oh yeah. I just went there. That’s his name. But she isn’t. All she did was followup with a guy that asked her out. ‘Tis the season. Of triple booking nights out. So why waste it. Although she had her suspicions he seemed only interested in using Coco as a receptacle to sexually relieve himself, she went ahead and confirmed it. He proceeded to un-match her on Tinder [eye-roll emoji] although they were already speaking on Whatsapp for days at that point. Yeah, because she’s really going to regret calling him out on his creepiness now.

Oh Daniel. There’s no shame in sex work. Just shell out for whatever it is you’re after and leave the rest of us innocents alone.

Brb, putting this on Reddit.