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Around the time I was rebounding from a very serious relationship, Carl* was the first guy I met. I’ve often cited our first date as the worst first date of all time, but despite that, I still went on to (seriously) date the guy. Almost two years after we decided to part ways, I finally found the courage to let him in on the asshole he in fact is.
On yesterday’s episode (#547) of Dan Savage’s Savage Love Cast, the issue of consent was raised in two calls. The first was from a young lady living in Canada that would be time and time again slut-shamed by her evangelical partner for her past and then date raped by him in her sleep, which he somehow still managed to shame her for. The second call was from a guy in his early 30s that was admitting to date raping a girl a decade ago. Both these calls are resonating with me but for other reasons.
When I was 26 I met an older man. He wasn’t just any older man fifteen years my senior. He was a musician. Who owned a nightclub. And had a cocaine problem, just fresh out of an open relationship with an even older partner. Who was married. How did I even get myself into this mess?
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I’m going to preface this post. Almost a year ago I wrote a non-fictional essay about an online dating binge I went on to tragic results. Needless to say, I learned my lesson and am more cautious than ever when meeting anyone online. Because I had ambitions to send this story out to American publications, I titled it Mind the App in homage to the great city of London:
Coco here. I thought I’d share one of my favourite scenes in Sex and the City, because why not? In this very realistic scene (NOT sarcasm) Carrie runs into Berger’s friends at Bed right after their infamous break-up via Post-it. That’s all I’ll say for now. Having been broken up with over email in my early 20s, I’ll be the first to admit I can relate. At least she looked amazing in this scene.
Welcome to Fifty Shades of Cray. A note to our readers: This is much more than a dating blog. It’s a platform to vent, story share and laugh about how downright cray dating, love and life can be.
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